November 29, 2002
November 28, 2002
Adding to the simplicity of the celebration is the fact that if we have an actual Thanksgiving tradition, it's a rather odd one. Every year for about ten years, up until I entered junion high, we would take a two-week holiday down to my grandparents' place in Florida, usually with a Disney trip as well. We would leave on Thanksgiving morning, so that our Thanksgiving feast was held in a Roy Rogers off of I-95, in Virginia or something. So while other families can think back on feasts of sumptuous turkeys and succulent pumpkin pies, my Thanksgiving memories usually involve my Mom maiking a salad from the Fixins' Bar, with a dressing of ketchup, mayo, and a dash of horseradish sauce.
Still, a tradition is a tradition, so I'll be picking up a three-piece w/biscuit from the Turnpike rest stop Roy Rogers on my way home. I have to admit to being a bit jealous of Mr. Fat Guy's massive spread, or even better, a feast served by a cute little monkey.
November 27, 2002
Of course, turns out that there was this little accident on the Pulaski Skyway a few cars ahead of me. I wasn't involved, but it blocked up two lanes of traffic, two lanes on a two-lane highway with no shoulders and almost no way for emergency vehicles to get to the accident.
November 25, 2002
November 21, 2002
November 19, 2002
"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
November 18, 2002
"Everybody seems to think being on hold is a bad thing. Let's reexamine this, shall we? Don't look at it as being on hold; look at it as being held. Because we all like to be held, don't we? For example: when you're sitting in front of a fireplace with someone special, being held can be very comforting. Or when you're upset about something, being held makes you feel a whole lot better."Now, don't you think that in exchange for this plug JetBlue should find room for me on their Sunday-after-Thanksgiving Vegas-to-JFK flight?
November 17, 2002
you have an ominosity quotient of
November 16, 2002
Canton/Akron, OH: Pieces of History AwaitFrom Orbitz's Last-Minute Getaways, which ain't helping me.
The Football Hall of Fame, a museum dedicated to former President McKinley, and Kent State's touching memorial await in the Buckeye State.
you have an ominosity quotient of
I've been doing some searches for Vegas, but it's kind of a weird place to go in that I'd rather not go there by myself, but at the same time I don't necessarily want to go with anybody. I've been there with people who didn't really like to gamble, and while parts of the trip were a whole lot of fun, you can't really tell someone to go off and find something to do while I sit here and play cards for six hours. Maybe I'll wait until a non-holiday time to go for a cheap few days, but that still leaves the question of where do I go right now!
November 15, 2002
Sure, we know that some folks in the media are accusing us of making a purely cosmetic move when more substantive changes are needed, slapping a fresh coat of paint on the walls and shuffling the cast rather than firing the entire writing staff and coming up with a new, stronger direction. And to all those naysayers and negative Nancys we say...um...well...look, it's a cute picture of a kitten and a baby bird!!!
November 14, 2002
Speaking of Mr. Whybark, he is, as of right this very second, less than 80 visitors away from #10,000, which is really very cute. To celebrate the rollover, he's giving away a choice of fabulous prize packages to Mister or Missus 10-K, so head over there early and often!
November 13, 2002
November 12, 2002
"Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin'Blog Poker presents...the River! Let's recap, shall we? We've turned over four of the five cards, leaving just one to decide the winner. Here is the board so far:
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep.
'Cause every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."
4 of spades / 9 of clubs / Jack of spades / 5 of diamondsAnd here are our eight players, with their down cards finally revealed! Whoooo!
- Marybu: 6d/7s/8s/Qc
- Mike "File Not Found" Whybark: 3h/4d/5h/As
- Paul Frankenstein: 4c/9h/Qs/Ac
- Mr. Fat Guy: 3c/6c/9s/Qh
- Allan "Big Daddy" Baruz: 2c/Jd/Jh/Kh
- Matthew Sheren: 3s/4h/8d/Ts
- Michelle Mindsketches:2h/5c/Ks/Kc
- Ravenwolf: 3d/7d/8h/Kd/
But it's not big enough! The winner of the first-ever game of Blog Poker, taking his 8 and 10, and combining them with the 9, Jack, and Queen on the board to make a straight, is Matthew Sheren! Start racking them chips, Matthew, you're the big winner! Your prize will soon be on its way.
But, wait! It's supposed to be poker week here at The Donk! Um...err...oh, the heck with it.
Well, that doesn't make any straights or flushes, so it doesn't change things too much, but it does give Marybu an open-ended straight draw, plus it puts Michelle on the board with a pair. Of course, there's still those hidden cards, plus that last, all-important river card! Tune in later for the fifth and final card of Blog Poker, when a winner shall be crowned!
The five of diamonds!
November 11, 2002
Remember: players will use two cards from their hand and three of the five cards from the board. Well, let's see what we have (see below for the hands)...Paul Frankenstein has two pair, Allan Baruz has a big pair of Jacks, Matthew Sheren has an inside straight draw...but what will those hidden cards reveal? And there's still two more cards to go! Tune in tomorrow for the next card in Blog Poker!
4 of spades! 9 of clubs! Jack of spades!
- Not sure what the hell I'm talking about? SoYouWanna Learn How to Play Poker is a basic beginner's guide to the game. Texasholdem-poker.com has a good introduction to the most popular form of casino poker.
- Originally presented in Harper's, "Fortune's Smile" by James McManus, about the author's journey to the final table of the World Series of Poker, might be the best article ever written about the game.
- Have you just lost another huge point after some idiot, who had no business even being in the hand, caught the only card in the whole damn deck that could have lost the pot for you? Well, then you're a prime candidate for going "On Tilt" and watching the rest of your chips disappear in a blind rage. Also, you'll probably really hate reading about the hilarious Vegas adventures of the unfortunately/seemingly defunct Tiltboys, a gang of ne'er-do-wells whose motto is that it doesn't matter whether they win or lose, it's how many people they piss off.
- On a more serious note, Poker Pages is a regularly updated online magazine with tons of articles, lessons, and even an ongoing mystery serial.
- Looking for something a little unusual to call during your next home game dealer's choice? Chilcoot's Poker Page and Homepoker.com each feature dozens of variants that will have you asking whether five-of-a-kind beat a Royal Flush with wild cards.
- And to leave you with something to shoot for: Binion's Horseshoe presents the Gallery of Champions.
To recap the rules of Donk Hold `Em, everybody gets four cards of their own, after which I'm gonna deal five community cards. You'll take two cards from your hand and combine them with three from the board to make the best possible poker hand. Now, I have the deck right here: it's a red, casino-used one from the Flamingo in Vegas. And here we go!
- Marybu: 6d/7s/Qc/?
- Mike "File Not Found" Whybark: 3h/4d/As/?
- Paul Frankenstein: 4c/9h/Qs/?
- Mr. Fat Guy: 6c/9s/Qh/?
- Allan "Big Daddy" Baruz: 2c/Jd/Kh/?
- Matthew Sheren: 4h/8d/Ts/?
- Michelle Mindsketches:2h/5c/Ks/?
- Ravenwolf: 3d/8h/Kd/?
Coming up next: the flop! (The Flop is/are the first three community cards.) You might think you have a good or bad hand now, but it don't mean nothin' until the flop.
November 10, 2002
On an unrelated note, on the ride down the Turnpike I realized that 2002 is the last really cool year we're gonna have for a while. I mean, 1999, 2000, and 2001 were extremely cool, and 2002 is a palindrome, so that's something, but 2003? 2004? It's all pretty bleh from here on out.
November 08, 2002
What's the prize? We can't tell you yet, but it's gonna be swanky! And why are you so worried about the prize, when you ain't even won yet? Quit putting the cart before the horse, Bucky!
The game is gonna be a little somethin' we like to call Donkey Hold `Em. Here's how it works: everybody gets dealt four cards (and yes, I'm going to do this with a real live deck of cards, right on the dining room table here at Donk HQ). Over the next few days we'll deal out "the board," five community cards that belong to everybody. You'll take two cards from your hand and combine them with three from the board to make the best poker hand. For example, if there are three spades on the board and you have two spades in your hand, you've got a flush. If you have a pair of aces in your hand and there's an ace on the board, that's three aces. Of course, the best poker hand wins.
It's gonna be a week of action-packed...um...action! To enter, simply post the words "Ante Up" in the comments box and I'll take it from there.
Many pizza lovers credit the Ray's Pizza shop at Avenue of the Americas and 11th Street with popularizing the half-pound slice, though Columbia University students often cite the gigantic slices at Koronet, at Broadway and 112th Street, as the original good-value portion, at nearly 15 inches long.I gotta stick with my Jersey roots and cite Seaside Heights' own Sawmill as my favorite jumbo-slicetaria, as anecdoted by Big White Guy in the tale "Old Barney and the Sawmill":
After Ronnie showed up, everyone piled into the car, and they took me to Seaside, to a neat little restaurant/bar called the Sawmill Café — literally a piece of their personal history. They were all excited to show me the place and explain the good times they'd had over many, many years of visits there. [...] They ordered a pizza for the six of us. I wondered if it was going to be enough, until I saw it. The thing was freaking huge! It had to be at least 24 inches in diameter. It was different than the kind of pizza I was used to: nearly flat, with lots of cheese and sauce over the pepperoni.Mmmm...big pizza, big Skee-Ball scores, big hair...god I miss Summer down the shore. At least NJGuido saves all those memories for me.
November 07, 2002
November 06, 2002
Here's a guaranteed stumper: who was the host of the show on which the above infamous incident took place? Answer: Mrs. Miskel Spillman, winner of the "Anyone Can Host SNL" contest.
Update [1:58]: Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
To help benefit the McCarton School for Autistic Children and UCSB Austism Education Program, Bob and David will join Kids in the Hall, Janeane Garafalo, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog for the "CLASH OF THE TITANS", a four-way BATTLE ROYALE of comedy. This special event is one-night only at the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles.That is a Hefty 50-gallon trash bag filled with comedy goodness, my friends. Somebody out there buy me a ticket to this thing, and then fly me out to Los Angeles, I guess...maybe put me up in a nice place...hmmm. This is starting to get a little pricy. If only I were an autistic child, then I bet I could see it for free!
November 05, 2002
God, I hate moving.
A country where the fruit hung so heavy on the trees, an old man once told me, that when it fell to the ground nobody bothered to pick it up, but people simply walked through carpets of mulberry slush, like the rest of us wade through mud or snow at certain times of year. A country where there was crime, to be sure, but where a kind-hearted king pardoned every convicted murderer except one, a case where the family of the victim refused to grant permission for a death sentence to be lifted. These memories, gilded with nostalgia, sustained Afghans for so long.I can't find out if the story is real or apocryphal, but it did make me wonder if the idea of a general amnesty might have some popular precedent in the region, more than it certainly would in the west.
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