I guess that just about wraps it up.
posted by Ken at 12:00 AM

 
Folks, things are definitely looking up.
posted by Ken at 8:38 PM

 
Suddenly, in the harsh darkness of three in the morning, it all makes complete sense. I need to get married and have a child, preferably a son, by the end of 2005.
posted by Ken at 3:00 AM

 
Happy Easter or, as it was known in the Goldstein household in my youth, 50% Off Solid Milk Chocolate Bunnies Eve. Which explains so much.
posted by Ken at 9:00 AM

 
By the way, don't bother to see the Daniel Buren installation at the Guggenheim; it's total ass.
posted by Ken at 12:05 AM

 
Well, That Wasn't Too Bad, After All. 21-day flu completely banished from my system, my new room in some sort of order, all-logic-to-the-contrary-increasingly-difficult job...well, they pay me every Friday, and I need the money, and the sun was briefly shining this morning and things are looking ever-so-slightly up! Okay, granted, I ended up in an incredibly crowded and stress-inducing Central-NJ mall/restaurant (featuring a one-hour-plus wait for a table at three in the afternoon!) for my brother's birthday and my morning's happiness quickly transmogrified into a snarling tenseness, but as long as I felt worry-free for an hour I can feel it again; that's my motto!

Yes, worry-free and even a certain anticipation. Sure, I really loved the Pulaski-Skyway-overlooking Brunswick Towers, my home for almost three years (and which was almost my home for even longer until a certain series of events took place which I really can't get into in this forum but ask me when you see me), but I had forgotten just how exciting it was to move to a brand-new area, with all the discovery and exploration that goes along with that. And two weeks after I moved in, today I finally had the chance to walk around my new neighborhood to find what I've gotten myself into.

First off, this part of town has a little more historic interest than my old area, with the oldest continuous school site in the U.S., a Revolutionary War strategy meeting-place between General Washington and Major General de Lafayette, a couple of centuries-old cemeteries, and some interesting church architecture. There's a homemade chocolate shop (too crowded to check out this day before Easter), a record store specializing in old soul, and of course a pile of 99-cent shops and the like. And it's also a little refreshing to have some non-Indian (or sketchy Chinese) food options available. In a really sweet turn of events there's an Ethiopian restaurant a few blocks from my house, one which prominently features a review from Amy Wilson by way of Tris McCall on its front window. There's a decent looking Vietnamese place and a Cuban bakery, and even closer to home there's a 24-hour place serving what must upwards of 100 different cheap fried foods, perfect after those 3 a.m. walks home from the PATH train.

Okay, it ain't all great. I've been woken up more times by street noise this week than in the last six months, and parking can be almost impossible to find some nights. And there are just way too many Jesuits hanging around the neighborhood. But what is parking trouble when compared to mystery and anticipation? Not much at all, I say.
posted by Ken at 12:00 AM

 
Ever since I discovered my new local laundry's wash/fold service, my life is looking a whole lot better.
posted by Ken at 8:04 AM

 
Greetings from Times Square USA! Blogging will resume when I finish unpacking all of my computer equipment and get everything set up. To be more specific, it will resume when I can make some sense of the dozens of boxes, boxes, boxes that my life has become, the inevitable result of moving into about half the room space, which was, in turn, the inevitable result of looking for a new place to live with a temperature on the wrong side of 102. I remain in Jersey City, on the opposite side of Journal Square, but who knows for how long? Damn it all to hell.
posted by Ken at 7:05 PM

 
I hate when I open a bottle of soda and notice that the inside of the bottlecap says something like "SORRY PLEASE TRY AGAIN" and all of a sudden I'm a loser and I didn't even know I was playing a damn game.
posted by Ken at 8:00 PM

 
Okay, first things first: yes, I am still sick. This has been one week-long bitch of a whatever-the-hell I have, with constantly changing symptoms that seem to have all converged in my throat. I finally went to a doctor yesterday, and right now I'm on enough antibiotics and OTC medications to ensure that I should probably never drive again. And during this whole crapfest, I've had to pack and search for a new place to live.

And that search has gone fairly poorly, a sudden and unwelcome change from my lifelong housing good fortune. In Seattle, I only had to look for a place for two days, and the second place I looked at ended up being my home for four years. Then when I started looking in Jersey City I found my current building on my first try, then found a second room in the same building with not much more effort. And now...great big piles of crap. That is, when people even bother to keep the appointments I make to check out their crappy homes. I did find a passable situation, near where I currently live, that I figure will hold me for a few months until I can regroup and start searching again. But I am completely unpsyched about it.

I guess that's it for now.
posted by Ken at 12:00 AM

 
Still sick.
posted by Ken at 12:26 PM

 
Great, back blogging for a day and I come down with an ugly, achy cough. I blame you people, one of whom should be apologetic enough to come over and pack.
posted by Ken at 2:00 PM

 
I Think I Am Making a Huge Freaking Mistake! Basically, I need to move...oh, let's say this Saturday. As in four freaking days from now, and of course nothing is really packed, though most of my things are still in the same boxes as they were when I moved in here. Now, 'here' happens to be the second different room I've subletted in this building I've grown to like very much, so when I found a third room available I was nine kinds of psyched.

But suddenly it just seems completely wrong! There's was this weird vibe a-happening when I stopped by and I started to get all nervous and wonder if my wanting to stay in the building trumped some obvious negative aspects but then if not, where? And how, since I'd have to pack and rent a truck and the whole thing, and what the hell am I gonna do?!

Crap.
posted by Ken at 9:00 AM

 
A Tragic Tale? A Warning? A New Dramatic Format? Presented, in the form of sequential Craigslist personals, The Saga of Evelyn. And for some supplemental materail, check here and here.
posted by Ken at 8:00 AM

 
Another Great Moment in Humorlessness, Featuring Sean Penn!

"I really don't appreciate the negative connotations of what you're saying. Like all people, the Polish have a wide intellectual range, from Nobel Prize-winning poet Wislawa Szymborska and labor leader Lech Walesa, down to the unfortunate retarded individuals such as I portrayed in I Am Sam. Even these brave people would be able to master the relatively simple task of changing a lightbulb, and would never resort to the labor-intensive method you suggest."

This has been Great Moments in Humorlessness, Featuring Sean Penn!
posted by Ken at 12:25 AM

 
If I Were This Guy, I'd Get a Better Lawyer.

JERUSALEM -- Gonen Segev, a former Israeli Cabinet minister, admitted to attempting to smuggle 32,000 Ecstasy tablets into Israel as part of a plea bargain, the Israeli media reported yesterday. --from today's AM New York

In all fairness, though, I should mention that the prosecutor's original offer was for Segev to rob a convenience store and take the cashier hostage.
posted by Ken at 12:10 AM

 
Great Moments in Humorlessness, Featuring Sean Penn!

"Frankly, I'm both hurt and confused. Despite being relatively sure that the front of my shirt was free of either debris or stains, I looked down when you pointed at this alleged problem. And I think we both know what indignity followed. Was that facial attack my punishment for trusting you? If so, it was a cruel punishment for a crime that will never be repeated, much like the execution of my character Matthew Poncelet in Dead Man Walking. Now, please leave."

This has been Great Moments in Humorlessness, Featuring Sean Penn!
posted by Ken at 12:07 AM

 
Talk of the Town.

• Late Friday night, I overheard a woman speaking to her companion from behind a post in the hallway between the subway and 33rd Street PATH station. Her piquant comment: "I ain't the first one that pissed here and I ain't gonna be the last!" Well told.
  
  
• Stopped in at the soon-to-be-condominiummed The Plaza last weekend while a friend and I were up visiting The Gates (yes, it was an all-capitalized-The weekend). Oddly enough, while I have walked by the giant hotel dozens of times, it wasn't until I entered the building that I realized it was, in fact, the The Plaza. I suppose I thought it was some mythical archetype rather than actual lodging, but it did remind me of my favorite The Plaza story, related by a female friend of mine:

  "A date was taking me out to dinner at The Plaza, where I was to meet him after coming into Manhattan from New Jersey. He asked me if I knew how to get to The Plaza, and when I hesitated he said, 'You get out of the train station, get into a cab, and say, 'Take me to The Plaza.'"

  In my post-graduate naivete that just seemed like the height of urbane sophistication.
  
  
• As part of our Central Park visit we stopped in at the cozy Zoo, and during our meanderings we were lucky enough to chance upon the some classic reproductive activity among two terrestrial reptiles.
  
  In other words: we saw two turtles fucking. And frankly, that doesn't really it justice since these turtles (well, at least the guy turtle) were going at it, just total turtle pornstarring, mouth agape, head flailing about, the works. Of course, this had attracted the attention of several visitors, most notably a sevenish-year-old girl who was straining to see the spectacle over the railing.
  
  Now, did the tyke's father see what was happening and whisk her away to a less graphic display, such as the lazy polar bears? Of course not. What he did do was lift her into the air, asking "Do you want to see the turtles, honey? Then upon scoping the situation exclaiming, "Oh, look, the turtle's yawning."

posted by Ken at 12:05 AM

 
Yeah, what the hell, let's try this blogging thing again.

Well, now that a little time has passed since the official Worst Year of My Life finally and mercifully ended. For those of you keeping score, the WYoML was triggered at around noon last February 18, when my supervisor took me into a conference room and kicked me to the curb like a leaky plastic bag of expired shrimp. But I'm not bitter or anything.

Anyway, things are starting to look a little up (despite March outside swimming in like a sea otter). I'm performing again, there's a pretty good chance my search for a new place to live will have a happy ending, a new season of Deadwood begins this weekend, and the hellish workload of my first two copywriting months was, if not exactly an aberration, at least not a permanent condition (though certain current events may cause that situation to change).

So life is looking a little better and several folks have called me a lazy sod, which means it's time to get back to the blogging!
posted by Ken at 12:00 AM

 
Mike Wolf died last night, which is desperately terrible, horrible, wrenching news for many, many reasons which I hope you are lucky enough to know. Checking in on the rapidly expanding comments section of his last, fittingly random, post there are a lot of us lucky ones out there, with those of us who knew him in person and others who knew him through mikewolf.net and correspondence. It's obvious that he left his mark on the world, but that doesn't feel like much consolation right now.

I was one of the fortunate ones who got to spend time with him over the past few years, at Shea, Seaside Heights, The Apollo, Foxwoods, and assorted other places where a person might be able to find a glass of Maker's Mark. He was a fascinating guy, a great conversationalist, smart (except about the comparative merits of Modest Mouse vs. Wilco), funny, and a whole lot of other things. I can honestly say that I enjoyed every minute I ever spent with him, and if there's anybody else I can say that about the name isn't coming to mind. Well, now that I think about it, there were those jealousy-filled minutes at Siberia when he was surrounded by women who scattered when I joined the conversation, only to re-surround Mike when I left, but other than that it was all good.

When I started this blog all those years ago I wasn't really expecting much, and in terms of, say, money or sex my expectations have been fully met. What I have gotten out of it is the opportunity to meet a whole bunch of really good people, with some of those people actually becoming friends. A lot of us got to meet Mike this way, and we should be eternally grateful for these past few years. The world is a dumber, colder, less hip, more self-important, crueler, less funny place than it was yesterday. He is and will continue to be very much missed.
posted by Ken at 9:00 PM

 
Trapped. Like a rat. A cold and lonely rat.
posted by Ken at 10:03 PM

 
Can I sue the NFL for wasting my whole goddamned day with crap?
posted by Ken at 7:35 PM

 
I have dreamt about work for the past three nights.
posted by Ken at 1:43 AM

 
I don't want to disillusion anybody, but I have to admit that, after a few months, writing retail mattress ads for a living sort of loses its thrill.
posted by Ken at 12:00 AM

 
Officially joining such legendary brands as Ayds Diet Candy...

Toyota drops 'Tsunami' name for sports car model.

Toyota Canada is abandoning plans to name one of its most popular models of sports cars in this country, the "Celica Tsunami."

Exactly one year ago, on Jan. 7, 2004, Toyota announced the name of for the car, calling it "the new wave of bold style." Its press release at the time noted that "tsunami is the Japanese word for tidal wave."

Other once mighty brands that have fallen through the cracks of history include Sambo's Restaurants, Cherry Clan Candy, and Rwandan Genocide Blue Jeans.
posted by Ken at 8:00 PM

 
Speaking of Topics I Don't Normally Write About Except that I've Been Reading the Post Lately: Now, This Is a Bad Review!

Witness says Robert Blake's cry for help seemed insincere.

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Robert Blake's murder trial resumed Tuesday after a holiday recess with a witness testifying that the actor's cries for help for his bleeding wife seemed insincere.

Mary Beth Rennie, a hospital administrator, recounted how she and her boyfriend, a doctor, hid by a tree and did not intervene when they heard Blake yelling. Rennie said she and Dr. James Michael McCoy held back because Blake's behavior seemed "odd" and "forced."

"It didn't seem genuine or real," she said.

Rennie later testified that the dialogue was wooden, the effects amateurish, and the plot "sub-Gigliesque."
posted by Ken at 7:50 PM

 
I know I usually don't write about such frivolities, but am I the only one worried that Ashlee Simpson is gonna make like Susan Alexander Kane and swallow a handful of pills? I mean, tell me if these scenes sound like they might have taken place somewhere in L.A., with her Daddy-Manager standing in the Orson Welles role.

SUSAN

You don't propose to have yourself made ridiculous? What about me? I'm the one that has to do the singing. I'm the one that gets the razzberries. (pauses) Last week, when I was shopping, one of the salesgirls did an imitation of me for another girl. She thought I didn't see her, but - Charlie, you might as well make up your mind to it. This is one thing you're not going to have your own way about. I can't sing and you know it! Why can't you just --

Kane rises and walks toward her. There is cold menace in his walk. Susan shrinks a little as he draws closer to her.

KANE

My reasons satisfy me, Susan. You seem unable to understand them. I will not tell them to you again. You will continue with your singing.

[Cut to weeks later, following some further disastrous performances, Susan has attempted to overdose on pills. Kane visits her in her room as she is recovering.]

SUSAN (in a voice that comes from far away)

I couldn't make you see how I felt, Charlie. I just couldn't - I couldn't go threw with singing again. You don't know what it means to feel - to know that people - that an audience don't want you. That if you haven't got what they want - a real voice - they just don't care about you. Even when they're polite - and they don't
laugh or get restless or - you know...they don't want you. They just...

Boy, I need to starting reading the Times at lunch instead of the Post...
posted by Ken at 7:45 PM

 
Very strange...had dinner the other day with my best friend from grade school, who I haven't seen in...jeez...something like 15 or more years. It was good to see him again (it turns out he works 20 or so blocks south of me; obviously not that unusual an occurrence in Manhattan), but it turns out that one of my stronger memories I have from that period, that of me waiting semi-lost on a corner between our houses the first time we were to play together, isn't actually real. I mean, at least it's not real according to him, but he definitely seemed to remember that whole time a lot better than I did. It's a bit disturbing -- I don't really have that many memories, so I'd rather they all have actually happened.

But anyway, very cool to see the guy. He's good people, good Old Bridge people, the best in the world.
posted by Ken at 7:30 PM

 
We have officially entered the long, cold slog of winter.
posted by Ken at 10:58 PM

 
How's about everybody heading on over to hospital-blogging Mike Wolf's and saying hello. Call it a resolution.
posted by Ken at 8:00 AM

 
Considering 2004 Billboard Music Award winners Usher (Hot 100 single of the year for "Yeah!") and Outkast (digital track of the year for "Hey Ya"), I predict 2005's most popular songs containing only the letters AEHYY.

• Yay He!
• Ye Hay!
• Ay Hey!
• A! E! H! Y! Y!

Let's all check back here in 12 months and see how I did.
posted by Ken at 8:00 PM

 
I dunno, shouldn't everything be...sparklier or something?
posted by Ken at 12:00 PM

 
What I Learned: 2004 in Review.

Now that I think about it, I didn't learn a frigging thing.

See you all in 2005, peoples.
posted by Ken at 12:00 AM