March 15, 2002

To: Lee Salem: Editorial Director, Universal Press Syndicate
From: Ted Rall
Date: March 15, 2002
Subject: Upcoming Strip Topics

Lee, as you requested, here are some rough outlines of my next few strips. I imagine you want these in order to get some advance buzz going, continuing the great run we've had recently.

As you know, I am shocked and disgusted to see that there have been groups who have received more sympathy and respect over the past six months from the brain-dead American public than the one group of people that truly deserves it: cartoonist/journalists. Now that I have successfully taken down the fat-cat firemen and the so-called "terror widows," I'm ready to continue knocking down these easy September 11 targets.
1) Orphans: I was watching the CBS 9/11 special looking for material when I saw that yet another scholarship fund has been set up for those who lost parents in the attack. Hell, my daddy left me — twice! — and nobody set up any kind of scholarship fund for me! These kids only had to deal with their parents leaving them once and they're set for life! I'm thinking of something similar to the firemen strip, maybe Little Lord Fauntleroy types playing their new XBoxes and trying to remember their parents' names.

2) Dogs: Yeah, they're cute and all, but I'm sick of seeing ads and magazine sections honoring the search-and-rescue dogs, not to mention calls for donations to "help" pets left homeless. Is there any accountability for this? I bet they're just wandering around the streets handing big bags of cash to any dog who looks sad! This strip might be delayed as I'm having difficulty learning how to draw dogs.

3) The Dead Yeah, they died horrible deaths, but isn't enough enough already? I mean, can't we just let it go? I'm still working on the concept here, but I'm thinking of some sort of VIP area of heaven, with the dead people of color getting them drinks.
Well, these are just a few of the ideas of been working on, so let me know what you think, especially if you think I'm being too easy on these folks. With your help we can finally take these bastards down for good!

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