June 08, 2004
A Belated Apology to Mr. Ben Affleck. Last Summer, for reasons that I haven't determined, I wrote 1000 words on that whole Ben/J-Lo deal, during the course of which I called the Ben half of that a "tool," as well as the "Most Whipped Man in America (MWMIA)."
Well, upon hearing the news of Jennifer's reported marriage to singer Marc Anthony, I would like to take this opportunity to issue a public apology to Mr. Affleck. Because this is one dame who obviously just looooves getting married, who walks down the aisle with the frequency that Valvoline suggests getting your oil changed. And even though it certainly appeared that he was in full-tool-mode during his time with Jennifer, it must be noted that he somehow managed to avoid actually marrying her. And that accomplishment must be recognized for what it is: a sign that he must truly have some sack.
Ben, I hope you accept this apology.
Well, upon hearing the news of Jennifer's reported marriage to singer Marc Anthony, I would like to take this opportunity to issue a public apology to Mr. Affleck. Because this is one dame who obviously just looooves getting married, who walks down the aisle with the frequency that Valvoline suggests getting your oil changed. And even though it certainly appeared that he was in full-tool-mode during his time with Jennifer, it must be noted that he somehow managed to avoid actually marrying her. And that accomplishment must be recognized for what it is: a sign that he must truly have some sack.
Ben, I hope you accept this apology.
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