January 16, 2004
Things I Learned This Week.
- The air can actually become so cold that walking outside for less than five minutes and breathing in that air can cause a man's insides to freeze, leading to upwards of 30 minutes of uncontrollable shivering even when he's gone indoors.
- When the temperature does drop that low, it's probably a good idea to take that case of Diet Coke cans out of the trunk before they explode.
- Just because the Subway counterguy is Indian, that doesn't mean it would be acceptable to have a 15-minute-long one-sided discussion covering your reservations regarding arranged marriages, especially when somebody is behind you waiting for their roast beef sub to be made.
- Getting back to the cold, have your tires checked frequently to avoid inopportune flats on the Pulaski Skyway, which might be followed by a painfully frigid and extremely dangerous removal of the flat and attaching of the donut, with trucks zooming by at 75 m.p.h.
- Unless you're getting paid for such an occurrence, if two guys want to get into a fight over a perceived slight at the poker table, don't try and be the calming influence between them.
- Soup is versatile enough to be eaten at every meal.
- For some reason, that waiter at the Cherry Street Cafe in Rahway still doesn't like me.
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