The Illuminated Donkey

Boycott the Weblog Awards!

The Blogosphere is a wonderful, powerful, conglomeration, and I am proud to be even the infinitesimal part of it that I am. It is truly special, but what is it, exactly, that makes the it so special? The millions of unique and independent voices, ideas, talents, and opinions? Of course, those are all part of it. But what truly makes the Blogosphere special are the shared ideas, intellectual roundtables, reciprocated links...a sense of community that makes us all feel like part of something great.

And that, my friends, is what Kevin Aylward's Wizbang Weblog Awards is trying to destroy, with the coldhearted psychosis of an eight-year-old boy ripping the wings off of hundreds of delicate, beautiful butterflies.

For those of who you might not be aware, I was recently nominated by Mr. Paul Frankenstein, without my advance consent, for a 2003 Weblog Award, in the category of Best Humor Blog. And while I certainly had my misgivings about the whole enterprise, I did not wish to insult Paul's gesture of goodwill (and I was, admittedly, a little curious).

Well folks, that go-along attitude and curiosity have together congealed into a large putrid mass of disgust. Over the past week I have witnessed human nature at its very worst, as bloggers I have read, respected, and even met have thrown honor to the wolves, fighting tooth and nail for every vote possible. Honesty? Decency? Self-respect? Compassion? Apparently those words all become meaningless once some strangers slaps together a polling screen and comes up with an award and a logo.

Now I certainly don't want to tar every nominated blogger with this same brush of disgust. For example, the five bloggers currently trailing me in the polling have all done an exemplary job in balancing good-hearted competitiveness with at least the thinnest veneer of dignity. As for the 14 ahead of me...well, craven, bottom-feeding opportunists might be the kindest collective description that springs to mind.

And while at least one of these 14 has managed to make Paris Hilton look like an Trappist monk with agoraphobia (I don't want to mention any individual blog, but it rhymes with "Wiggle-Stick"), all have apparently put this flimsiest of awards ahead of a potentially enlightening friendship with me. Sure, Mr. or Mrs. Scrappleface, you may have 24 times the votes I have, but do you have 24 times the love, or sense of self-worth? Well...probably...but do you need a silly poll to tell you that? I sure don't.

So far all of these reasons, I am hereby boycotting the Wizbang Weblog Awards, and I am hoping that you do the same. From this moment onward, I will consider every vote I do not receive in the poll a tacit expression of support for this effort. I thank you all in advance.