The Illuminated Donkey

Sibling Day Continues with a Brand-New Series from Sister Nancy!

You thrilled to her on-the-scene exclusives from the Winter Olympics, and you recoiled in horror at her Galloriffic updates from the files of Vincent Gallo. Now, after a lengthy absence, Nancy presents the first edition of Nancy Goldstein's Monkeys, Donkeys, and Junkies: a regular foray into the latest news surrounding three of our favorite things!

First we're off to India for...MONKEYS!

Monkeys Terrorize India Workers, Tourists

NEW DELHI - In a capital city where cows roam the streets and elephants plod along in the bus lanes, it's no surprise to find government buildings overrun with monkeys.

But the officials who work there are fed up. They've been bitten, robbed and otherwise tormented by monkeys that ransack files, bring down power lines, screech at visitors and bang on office windows.

The Supreme Court has stepped in, decreeing that New Delhi should be a monkey-free city after citizens filed a lawsuit demanding protection from the animals.

And now, a little hotter and closer to home...DONKEYS!

Rescuers Save Livestock From Wildfires

LOS ANGELES - Smoke billowed around Capt. David Havard and his animal rescue team as they swept into a San Diego canyon on a mission to evacuate six horses threatened by a raging wildfire.

[...] Throughout Southern California, animal rescue teams such as Havard's have risked their lives to corral horses, scoop up stray dogs and capture cats away from the advancing fire. Hundreds of rescuers — often volunteers — gather at staging areas near the blazes ready to step in at a moment's notice.

[...] But even Havard has never seen fires like those chewing through Southern California — so many at once and moving so quickly. He has worked incessantly since the first fires were reported, getting the call at 1 a.m. Saturday to help out in San Bernardino County. Since then, he has saved 250 horses and 50-100 small animals — cats, dogs, chickens, ducks, a donkey and a potbelly pig.

Hey, AP, a donkey ain't no small animal! But we can just stay in the greater L.A. area for our finally stop of the day...JUNKIES!

Scott Weiland Ordered to Drug Rehab

PASADENA, Calif. - Scott Weiland (news), lead singer for the Stone Temple Pilots, was ordered by a court official Thursday to immediately report to a live-in drug detoxification center and spend six months in a residential drug rehabilitation program. Weiland was charged Wednesday with a misdemeanor count of driving under the influence stemming from his arrest the day before in Hollywood.

We hope you enjoyed this little trip. Be sure to check back soon for another globe-spanning edition of Nancy Goldstein's Monkeys, Donkeys, and Junkies!