The Illuminated Donkey

The Return of Koen: (Runner-Up) King Donkey of Kuurne! Ah, how time flies. Can it be only a month ago that we first heard from Koen Vermandere, who was seeking our help in become this year's King Donkey of Kuurne, Belgium, a title and position that I still only vaguely understand? And can it be only a scant three weeks ago that we found out that Koen lost the title in a closely contested final to Freddie "Boom Boom" Tytgat?

Well, we finally heard from Koen with the details, and while it may take a little while to post the shocking photos, we are proud to feature the following highlight from the competition. The contestants needed to write and recite an 'Ode aan de Ezel' ('Ode to the Donkey'); Koen's beautiful ode is presented below:

Ode to the Donkey

O Donkey,

As soon as I behold thee, my insignificant person disappears totally into nowhere.

When I look to your ears, how pertly they turn around in all direction of the wind, so that no novelty or gossip eludes thee.

O, out respect for thee I stop speaking.

When I look to your sumptuous brown eyes that are glistering from pleasure and shine from intelligence.

O, I don't dare to look at thee.

When I look to your magnificent head, perfectly placed on your muscular neck, I get tears in my eyes.

O, tears of jealousy.

When I look to your elegant feet, how brave they replace your weight in a stylish way.

O, there are not enough words.

When I look to your well-shaped hoofs, handsomely draped underneath your elegant ankles.

O, the are truly divine.

When I look to your mighty thorax, perfectly overflowing to your back, whether or not crucified.

O, heavenly, then I get quiet.

When I look to your skillful tail that chases flies away in a smooth way and when you are relieving yourself, how very clever you keep your tail clean by putting it proud in the air.

O, I fall silent, because I cannot do this.

O Donkey, with you everything disappears into nothing…

And if you don't have a tear in your eye after reading this touching masterwork, then you can just close the browser window and stay the hell away because I don't want you reading my site. Thank you, Koen.