The Illuminated Donkey

Okay, people, let's try this again! You've already let me down on the whole my-sister's-birthday thing, but I'm willing to give you one more chance. Tomorrow is the birthday of a certain, special somebody, one of my dearest friends in the world, and a smokin'-hot dame, to boot. That's right, Jahna D'Lish. So how's about you head over there right this very second and wish the old bat a happy birthday, hmmm? It's really the least you could do.

As for me, I'm gonna throw on a weak-ass costume and head out to get hornsnackered on this little one-time-a-year candy-corn-and-vodka cocktail I like to call a Haunted Hoedown. Don't wait up.