July 30, 2003
Hey: on the off chance that I should perish in a fatal car crash on some major highway, please don't commemorate my life by putting up ribbons and flowers on the telephone pole I crashed into. I mean, plant a tree or paint a mural or something, but don't leave some saggy-ass depressing ribbons and photos to fade and discolor in the sunlight and exhaust. I mean, c'mon, it's not exactly like that pole was my favorite place in the world, ya know. If I got hit by a bus you wouldn't name that bus after me, would you?
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