The Illuminated Donkey

Introducing a Brand-New Series Here at The Donk! My tiny sister Nancy, who some of you may remember for her standout exclusive reports from Salt Lake City during the 2002 Winter Olympics, has officially been named The Donk's Editor in Charge of Vincent "Crazy" Gallo, filmmaker, artist, musician, and "Goodfellas" extra. Vince's site is just filled with crazy delights for the taking, but Nancy has decided to start this feature off by sending me something a little out-of-the-way, namely this Warning from the VincentGallo.com Message Board:

Old messages will be occassionally pruned. However, if I notice any polluted messages, which usually come from bitter, jealous, ugly, poorly-hung men, who are unhappy at work and wished their whole life to be like me, I will remove these unproductive nasty little posts and I would like to say to these twisted queers and half-men, I feel sorry for you. All I ever wanted to do was be me. I hope one day you feel the same about yourself and release yourself from the petty, small-minded urges of polluting this message board and distracting its wonderful members. So go ahead and say whatever you want nasty about me, but know that we will all know by your insults just how small your pecker really is and how miserable your life has always been and how long it's been since any girl under 500 pounds responded to your cheap lines at the local pub.

Whew! That was just too good to edit! Be sure to let us know if you'd like Nancy to continue to supply us with reams of Gallo Goodness! Also, if you can hook her up with a job, that would be pretty cool, too.