The Illuminated Donkey

Tonight brought a brand-new episode of Sorority Life, MTV's reality series tracking the Greeky adventures of sorority pledges at the University of Buffalo. Always deeply stupid, the show outdid itself tonight, providing one of the greatest scenarios in the history of reality TV. After pledge sister Julia comes home with a new tattoo on her back--reportedly featuring Julia's cherished nickname, "JEWELZ"--the girls agonize over how to tell Julia of her tattoo artist's spelling error, which reconfigured Julia's nickname as the deeply unfortunate "JEWLEZ." Despite being neither Jewish nor lesbian, Julia did her best to make lemonade from the hideous lemon permanently inked onto her back. "Well," said Julia to the confessional camera, "I'm gonna be rich when I grow up, so I can just get laser surgery." That's the spirit, JEWLEZ.