May 26, 2003

I Need Your Help. "Ken," you might say, "you give and give and give and give to your readers, but we never give you anything back in return, or at least not anything tangible. What can we do for you?" Well, I'm glad you finally asked.

The unbelievable swanky Black Hearts Party site is working on a daily calendar of misery and romance-gone-wrong, and we need your tales of woe. Get dumped on prom night? Left at the altar? Your sister sleep with your boyfriend during Thanksgiving dinner? That's great! We want to know! Just type up a brief description with the corresponding date and shoot it off to me at You can use a pseudonym if you're a lousy coward, but what really counts is the cringeworthiness.

We're also collecting some less personal dates in the history of failed romance, such as the marriage of Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine and the birth of Bob Eubanks, so if you can think of any of those, please send them along. I can use your help, and isn't it about time you offered some?
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