The Illuminated Donkey

Dot's All! You know who was kind of a marketing genius? The guy who came up with the whole "club sandwich" thing. I mean, I'd have felt a bit guilty for ordering a sandwich with a pile of fatty, fried bacon, but somehow ordering a club sandwich makes it feel A-OK! ... Hey, if we ever get another chance to engineer the human body, let's see what we can do about not stuffing the teeth with highly sensitive nerves wired straight to the brain's pain center. ... The Compassion of Our D.M.V. Officials, Part 8 (taken from the back of my vehicle registration): "Compulsory insurance is the law. A tragedy occurs whenever you or someone close to you suffers a loss due to an uninsured vehicle." But hey, your mom just got plowed down by an insured tractor-trailer? Why, that's just peachy-keen! ... Attention editors of every single magazine I subscribe to: Yes, I get the message, online dating is fascinating and wonderful and skyrocketing in popularity and the only way anybody will ever fall in love starting right now. I have received the information repeatedly, so please leave me alone now. Okay, except you, Bill. ... Wow, the 14th Annual Big Apple Blogger Bash already has 25 RSVP's! That's more than the 1990-1993 BABB's had put together! ... Goshamighty, if there's a better album spoken-word opener than the one to Milli Vanilli's "Girl You Know It's True,"

"What are you doing back?" "I sat back and thought about the things we used to do. They really meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me." "Do I really mean that much to you?" "Girl, you know it's true!"

then I sure as hell don't want to know about it!