The Illuminated Donkey

The aforementioned Murph checks in with some smokin' D'Lish Page Six gossip! A few months back the following article appeared in the New York Post's Page Six gossip section.

Hostess' Firing Blamed on Wrong Fit.

WAS A BUSTY 28-year-old hostess fired by the restaurant in the Nicole Farhi store because she was too big to wear the designer's $300 sweaters? A former high-level employee of the swanky Brit-owned 60th Street boutique says Eva Hoffman, a hostess who worked in the store's restaurant, was fired in June because she was too busty to fit in the designer's $300 sweaters.

"Stephen Marks [the CEO] was in town, took one look at Eva and said she couldn't fit into the sweaters and to get rid of her," the former employee tells the New York Post. "Soon after that, we had to start taking Polaroid pictures of applicants to see if they were good-looking enough to work there."

Hoffman was shocked by the alleged reason for her being 'laid off.' "I know my boobs have gotten me hired before, but never fired," she said. "I am wearing a Nicole Farhi sweater right now and get compliments on it all the time."

Murph has taken it upon him to reimagine the above incident, this time with our Miss D'Lish in the role of the wronged damsel.

Employee Firing Blamed on Great Tits.

WAS A BUSTY 28-year-old diva fired by Mirage Marketing because she was too goddamn sexy to wear the company's uniform; a thoroughly moistened, white, middle-of-the-road, men's cotton tee-shirt?

One former high-level employee of the locally-owned Smut Empire told PAGE SIX that Jahna D'Lish was fired this week because her incredible breasts were too much for management to handle. The CEO, Wendell Mirage (not his real name) who was in town on "business," took one look at Ms. D'Lish and said, "Holy freaking crap, check out the rack on mommy...do you think she would slap me around with those?" the former employee claims. Mr. Mirage then approached Ms. D'Lish with his proposition. According to the former employee, Ms. D'Lish responded by "dropping that sumbitch like a two foot putt. Soon after that, we had to start taking Polaroid pictures of applicants in soaking-wet skin-tight tee-shirts to see if they were stacked enough to work there."

D'Lish, a phenomenally successful local filmmaker, was shocked by the alleged reason for her being "laid off." "I know my boobs are fucking unbelievable, but who does this fuckin' fuck think he is?" she said. "There isn't enough money in the company's entire budget to pay me to show these babies to some jagoff Richie-Rich. Not that I'm scared of showing off my spectacular set when I feel like it...I'm not wearing a goddamn thing right now and get compliments on these all the time."

Mr. Mirage, who is in intensive care, could not be reached for comment.

I guess now's as good a time as any to point out that on Illuminated D'Lish Day, the staff might be workin' a little blue.