The Illuminated Donkey

My enjoyment ruined, one article at a time. The abovementioned Little C-ZA and I are heading to the U.S. Open next weekend, something I have been looking forward to a great deal. Sure, our main stadium seats are in Row Z, but there's plenty of outer-court action, and maybe there's bunches of AA-ZZ rows that we can look up on. Besides, Little C-Za's last name begins with a Z, so maybe it's good luck.

I had plenty more rationalizations, or at least I did until reading Peter Dizikes's Slate article "Ashe Heap: The Dump That's Hosting the U.S. Open," which was so helpful as to use our freaking seats to demonstrate how much Arthur Ashe Stadium blows.

While the best tennis venues provide a sense of intimacy, Ashe's double-decker stack of luxury boxes, located immediately above the courtside seats, pushes everyone else higher, making fans in the upper deck feel as if they're watching tennis through the wrong end of a telescope.

Just how bad is it? Fans in the depressingly designated Row Z at the very top of Ashe, peering at a court a fraction of the size of a baseball diamond, sit 120 feet in the air, higher even than their counterparts at neighboring Shea Stadium.

Thanks a lot...DICK!