August 19, 2002

I want a new stadium, with plenty of luxury boxes! Ever since I announced my upcoming forced relocation, a classic East/West Coast bidding war has broken out in the message boards, with each side making their case to be my next home.

The Seattle folks have teamed up to offer me, among many other things, all the croutons and Ichi-rolls I can eat, a lifetime membership to the Lusty Lady, Mount Rainier, and a plate of cookies with a tuck-in to top off every night. The East Coast folks have threatened to kick my ass if I move. So it's pretty much a toss-up right now, I guess.
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