The Illuminated Donkey

Well, things are now officially allowed to suck in Seattle. After two embarrassing weeks of "We here in Seattle are above that sort of thing" comments from management, Safeco executives rescinded the ban on the potentially-offensive-if-you've-been-living-in-a-convent "Yankees Suck!" t-shirts. I'm hoping that they will also lift the ban on showing emotion and exhibiting any baseball knowledge, which seemed to be in effect at about 90% of the Seattle games I attended during my years there.

Now, Mariner fans can wear their "Yankees Suck!" t-shirts with pride. Of course, with the unbalanced schedule the Yankees won't actually be returning to Seattle for another three months, so some fans were exercising their newfound rights by wearing "Yankees Suck" shirts to the Mariners/Blue Jays game, but I guess it's the thought that counts (especially when that thought is the suckage of the Yankees).

Anyway, my favorite part of the story is today's Great Moment in Civil Disobedience:

Not knowing of the change, freelance journalist Matt Villano held a two-hour protest on the corner of Occidental Avenue and Royal Brougham Way across from Safeco Field. Wearing a gray T-shirt that he had printed for $15 with the phrase "Mariners Management Sucks," Villano chanted through a megaphone that "Censorship sucks" and gave dissertations about fascism, the First Amendment and the Bill of Rights.

After handing out fliers with the dictionary definition of "suck" and getting about 100 people to sign a petition noting their disapproval of the Mariners' ban, Villano, 27, staged his entrance to the ballpark wearing a television camera microphone. When he wasn't stopped, he asked why. "He ignored me," Villano said of the gate employee.

God, isn't that beautiful? Can't you just picture this maroon, all pumped up over this gigantically important issue, striding up to the ticket gate, chest puffed out, waiting for the confrontation, and then...nothing. I laugh at you, Matt Villano!