The Illuminated Donkey

My good friend Anthony Russo (who I hope will join me and my friend Patrick Murphy in the soon-to-be-formed Legion of Superheroes with Extremely Common Ethnic Names) has recently started his own blog, Russophilia!, which is worth a look. He's a fellow Jersey guy now hunkered down in the nether regions of Georgia, which frankly sounds like a fine sitcom idea. Until then, though, here's a little taste:

Being a network administrator is a great job, but doesn't do much for your fellow man. For instance, what would I do if I were in a restaurant and someone started choking? How could I use my technical skills to assist? How would this fit within the corporate context I'm so accustomed to? Hmmmm...

Sir, sir, are you alright?....you're choking? Wait, I can help, I'm a network administrator!

Let me through....thank you.

Sir, are you okay? Sir, have you opened a ticket with the Help Desk yet?...

Sir, I need you to stay conscious with me for a moment. HAVE...YOU...OPENED...A...TICKET...WITH...THE...HELP...DESK...YET?! I can't help you until you've opened a problem ticket. I'm a network administrator. I want to help you, but I need ticket number.

Sir? What? You did. Okay, great I can help you now.

What's the ticket number? No, sir, wait, stay alive. Stay with me. Just tell me the ticket number.

What? 4...5...3...2..0..9? Okay, great....

Wait, sir, that ticket's been closed. You opened that one awhile ago, and its closed now. Do you have the right num-

Ohmygoodness, I...I think he's dead.

That's Russophilia!, available now!