The Illuminated Donkey

Whoo hoo. My third professional article, today on Cracked. I'm avoiding the comment section like the plague. 7 Retarded Tax Evasion Sche...

Whoo hoo. My second professional article, today on Cracked. It's a rare delightful Sunday here in Seattle, so I can't sit around and...

Whoo hoo! My first professional article, today on the front page of Cracked. The 6 Most Depressing IMDb Pages

Resumes and work samples are available upon request...

[Edited Excerpt from the Upcoming Article] People Who Were Around a Lot Later than You Thought Historical Figure: Herbert Hoover Peak Momen...

The Most Impressively Unimpressive Professional Sports Careers Athlete: Dick Shiner Sport: Football Not everyone can be an all-star, but e...

2009 Seattle Mariners FanFest (photos thanks to Murph) The Seattle Mariners locker room. Plenty of elbow room, TVs. Much, much nicer than th...

Cha Seung Baek Though the Korean-born pitcher was traded last year from the Seattle Mariners to the San Diego Padres, where he is pencilled ...

Link Roundup! I'm working on a long article (featuring the term "bed-shittingest"!), so here's the best links that have pa...

I Love the 80's! Especially the WWI-era Communist Activists! Paramount recently re-released 40 of their titles on DVD in a special ...

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump .

Things that Never Taste as Good as They Sound on the Menu Stuffed Seafood Dishes. These always get me in a moment of indecision when I can...

[The following was written for the 20th anniversary issue of The Rutgers Review , my college newspaper.] Dear Present-Day Review ers: How i...

The Most Frustrating Week of My Job Search So last Thursday there was a job posting, a website seeking a editor/proofreader/writer. Not grea...

So What Am I Doing Since I'm Not Employed? Well, other than having some fun times with a cute duck, I've been trying to build up so...

Rickey Henderson , one of my five favorite players of all time, will be heading to Cooperstown this summer, and I am incredibly disappointed...

Good to see that this is still the #1 Google site for "Illuminated Donkey." But for how long? [Just to cut in here, you have no id...

My New Neighborhood: A Sonnet Threats - Caller's 15-year-old son is threatening to kill her Alarm - Audible residential alarm, front doo...

Rick's Gifts, a Comedy Sketch. Written by Ken Goldstein, and performed by Improv Asylum in Boston on June 27, 2008

My Used & New 2008 and the Search for Amazon's Most Resold CD Let's start with a hypothetical situation: say...a certain person ...

Or maybe not.

I guess that just about wraps it up.

Folks, things are definitely looking up.

Suddenly, in the harsh darkness of three in the morning, it all makes complete sense. I need to get married and have a child, preferably a s...

Happy Easter or, as it was known in the Goldstein household in my youth, 50% Off Solid Milk Chocolate Bunnies Eve. Which explains so much.

By the way, don't bother to see the Daniel Buren installation at the Guggenheim ; it's total ass.

Well, That Wasn't Too Bad, After All. 21-day flu completely banished from my system, my new room in some sort of order, all-logic-to-th...