Today I parked my car under a tree that was partially (though admittedly, not completely) obscuring the parking sign listing the street-cleaning/no-parking times. So when I returned to my car, not only was it covered in large splotches of bird crap, but I had a decent-sized parking ticket on my windshield.

Seems to me like that should really be an either/or proposition: piles of bird crap or a parking ticket. Either would have been punishment enough.