The Illuminated Donkey

Stupid Nets, Stupid Referees, and Stupid New Jersey Nets "Fans." Sitting at work yesterday, nothing planned for my Friday night, a few bucks in my pocket, so I figured I'd head to a big sporting event and try and find a friendly neighborhood scalper to let me in. But which one? Up in the Bronx, Roger Clemens would be vying for his 300th W and his 4000th K, while a little closer to home Your New Jersey Nets would be trying to go up 3-2 against the Spurs.

Folks, I made the wrong choice.

While Clemens made some double-history, I paid a C-Note to watch hideous officiating (54 inconsistent fouls called, including two soft ones and a soft T on Kenyon in a three-second span ), an apparently-on-the-verge-of-death Kenyon Martin leading an assload of underachieving players, and...oh, yeah...freaking CAR BOMBINGS (including a completely gutted Chevy Suburban about 20 yards from my fortunately unharmed vehicle) were the story of my night.

And Stephen: I take back anything nice I might have said about New Jersey fans. I've heard louder crowds and seen more excitement at dog shows. When your team has the ball down by 7 with about a minute to go, and not only can't you get anybody in your section to, at the very least, STAND THE HELL UP, but the PA guy chooses that break to play the frigging "I don't wanna work, I wanna bang on the drum all day" song...well, my friends, I think it's safe to say that you simply don't deserve an NBA team.