November 16, 2003

Introducing a Brand-New Feature! Folks, we here at The Donk are thrilled to introduce our latest contributor to you. Many of you will remember Mo-Skee from her numerous comments about her beloved Skee-Ball, but to us here she's far more than a Skee-Fan — she's a Skee-Fan with a near-psychotic Watergate obsession. So with no further ado we present the first edition of Mo-Skee's Search for Deep Throat!

Mr. Ken has requested that I periodically resurrect the Deep Throat Challenge, first posted here on October 18. As previously noted, I whiled away many a marijuana-fueled afternoon during those heady years while pondering "Throat’s" identity. Yes, there are photos of me from that era engaged in "Throat-Think,” but they are much too incriminating to post — think “front row at a Grateful Dead concert after three days of rain."

But back to the business at hand. First, I present some background information from various informed sources.

John Dean, the White House counsel whose testimony broke the Watergate scandal open in the spring of 1973, in an interview with Salon:
Throat first surfaced in 1974 when Woodward and Bernstein published All the President's Men. When I first read the book, I thought that Woodward’s friend and source was probably a composite…I happened to state publicly in a speech, not long after his book came out, that I thought Throat was a composite, and that was picked up by the Washington Post. I had first met and had dinner with [Woodward] not long before the speech, and when he sent me a message assuring me it was not a composite, I believed him.
Lisa Todorovich, deputy political director of ABC News, in a report for the Washington Post:
Only four people on the planet are known to have the name — Woodward; his partner, Carl Bernstein; Ben Bradlee, the former executive editor of The Washington Post; and of course, Deep Throat himself. [S]ome bits of information have been disclosed over the years: Deep Throat is one person, not a composite of several sources, he is a man and he is still living. Woodward noted that Deep Throat was a smoker and that he drank Scotch. ‘Aware of his own weaknesses, he readily conceded his flaws,’ the reporters wrote. ‘He was, incongruously, an incurable gossip, careful to label rumor for what it was, but fascinated by it.... He could be rowdy, drink too much, overreach. He was not good at concealing his feelings, hardly ideal for a man in his position.’
From a CNN report:
Woodward has said he will not identify the source as long as the person is alive, or until he releases him ‘from our agreement of confidentiality.’ But he did indicate, during an appearance today on NBC’s Today Show, that he remains in touch with him. Woodward also said that Deep Throat deceived his colleagues in denying he was the source.”
And finally, those of you with time on your hands will certainly want to check out Deep Throat Uncovered, which presented a University of Illinois class's theory that Nixon deputy White House counsel Fred Fielding is Throat.

Previously, Mr. Ken has chided me for prematurely anointing a number of recently deceased individuals as “not Deep Throat”; thus, I am reserving judgment on Bobby Hatfield and Art Carney. I can, however, state with a reasonable degree of confidence that the following individuals are officially Not Deep Throat:

Let’s first eliminate the most obvious suspect: John C. Holmes, aka Johnny Wadd (died March 15, 1988). [Scroll down to “Wadd: The Life of John C. Holmes” (safe for work).]

I always thought this wizened creature was capable of the most nefarious deeds and I agree with Christopher Hitchens’ caustic assessment of her life; thus, it was wrenching to eliminate her as a possible “Throat” candidate: Mother Teresa (died September 5, 1997).

And finally, a prime suspect whom I only recently (and reluctantly) eliminated:
Morton Downey, Jr. (died March 12, 2001).

I would be interested in your contributions to the ongoing search for Not Deep Throat.

And then the phone went dead.
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